Underestimation Part 3

He said he was cool with everything. Simple enough and I'm satisfied with that. Quite honestly, I didn't expect for him to be as chill and mature about the situation as he was. I was amazed that he never treated me differently even though he knew how I felt this whole time. I find that it's easy for people to unexpectedly pull away when they discover that you have some sort of feelings for them and they feel the opposite. At that particular moment, I actually assumed that once I told him how I felt, it would alter the relationship that we currently had. I assumed that he would quit talking to me; I assumed that he would distance himself; I assumed that he would pretend that I didn't exist. None of those things happened. If anything, I felt that by finally admitting my feelings, the air was cleared, and that gray cloud of awkwardness that tends to permeate such atmospheres never surfaced. It was nice. I felt relieved. No, I didn't get what I wanted, but I didn't lose anything either in the process.
All in all, I learned somethings from this situation even though I feel that I'm at a different place with my friend, currently (this particular story took place a couple of weeks ago). I feel that it's best to always be honest and open with people when you start to feel something differently-- whether positive or negative. This could be in a relationship, friendship, whatever. I feel that in being honest and open, especially when the moment seems conducive, it saves a lot of time and hopefully cuts down on all the anticipation and wonder (at least in my case).
I also learned that there is nothing wrong with taking the time to get to know people. I've found that most serious relationships fail because we really didn't know what we were getting into in the beginning (in not all, but many circumstances). As John Legend says, "We're ordinary people, maybe we should take it slow..." Yes, some may put you in the "Friend Box", and sometimes you'll never come out, but maybe that isn't a bad thing. A good friend once told me that sometimes you have to go through a bunch of crappy relationships and hook-ups to realize what you have, or maybe even had, to begin with.
Furthermore, as I've mentioned before, I know how it feels to be burned by others because people change. Sometimes, we don't get the results we want. I feel that when things like this happen, surround yourself with positive people. Trust, it makes all of the difference.

At the end of the day, we are human. Some of us are more sensitive than others. No matter how strong we may act, normally, typically, it's just a front. It's just a mask. We aren't suppose to show that we are hurt, sad, dismayed, etc. Sometimes our friends, or maybe even society, expect us to quickly pretend that something or someone didn't exist. Sometimes, people just don't understand. Once again, find what gives you the most comfort in any given situation, and always try to anticipate your reaction, or the worse case of scenario in a given situation. If you know you can't handle "rejection" well, then you may want to consider if it's worth even saying how you feel. Sometimes, it best not knowing. Sometimes, it's best to just let things happen naturally (I struggle with this most). It's also possible for people's feelings to change. It's all in a days work. Just remember what I said. Stay honest, real, and true to yourself.

No matter the challenges or rejections, no matter the disappointments, no matter the numerous "Friend Boxes" you're placed in, never be scared to take a risk--never give up on love, and I truly mean that.

-Jill Renee